I am excited to know you, but quizzical when it comes to the longevity of
any relationship. I am a collector of moments, and although I might try to
compress your mind and strengthen your endeavours, I will coyly show you mine.
I like people who wrinkle up their face when they laugh, or fall over when they
walk. I try and surround myself with those who can easily communicate and
express themselves.
I like to “people watch” and observe. Although at any given moment I will have a number of things to say, I often hold my tongue, for I have learned that some things are better left unsaid. I enjoy stories, and while I've been found in the midst of foggy spectacles, unread books, and dodgy cardiographs, I will always stand for Love, search for the truth, and taste
every course life offers. I urge you - pull up a chair, and let me listen.


“Come away with me and we’ll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I’ll never stop loving you

And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I’m safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me”

the fading grey

It's easy. You just love me with all your heart and soul till the end of time.

The Place I Am

You cannot kill me here. Bring your soldiers, your death, your disease, your collapsed economy because it doesn’t matter, I have nothing left to lose and you cannot kill me here. Bring the tears of orphans and the wails of a mother’s loss and damn air force. bring your hate and bitterness and long working hours, bring your empty wallets and love long since gone but you cannot kill me here. Bring your sneers, your snide remarks and friendships never felt, your letters never sent, your kisses never kissed, cigarettes smoked to the bone and cancer killing fears but you cannot kill me here. For I may fall and I may fail but I will stand again each time and you will find no satisfaction. Because you cannot kill me here.

playing dress-ups

Isn’t she magnificent!
“the sweetest thing
i’ve ever known
was like the kiss
on the collarbone
soft caress of happiness
the way you walk
you’re style of dress
i wish i didn’t get so weak
oh baby, just to
hear you speak
makes me argue
just to see
how much you’re
in love with me “
LAURYN HILL

the view on the way down.

All the hardest, coldest people you meet were once as soft as water.

And that's the tragedy of living.

I am learning.
To place my faith.
To lean my heart.
To rest my head.
In the knowledge that You are God.
You are the same. Yesterday. Today. Forever.
For no eye has seen. No ear has heard. No mind has conviced.
What God has prepared for those who love him.
That I was sown together. Created with a plan and purpose.
I will seek Him. And find Him.
And that finally, all things do work together from those who love the Lord.

Come hell or high water, my faith is rested in You and You alone.

The Gap In Happiness

You are so full of the things that you don't have that you don't have space for the things you do.

Peace on Earth?

I used to think it was so easy. I'd figure it out...just give it some time.
..Peace on Earth

Was it too lofty a goal?It seems to me that everyone here is running in circles
Heads cut off
Hands in the air...
It seems to me that peace is a word without a definition. No one know WHAT exactly it means
Yet we greet eachother with it. In the streets and to strangers
"Shalom."

What a potent word
That has lost its edge
Do I know what it means?
I know peace in the context of my God.
I know it as an unseen, calming force
I know it as a melody.
As a cradle.

But what does one do what their god has called them to war?
Or when religion is without faith or hope..When it is merely a routine, passed down through generations?
What does one do with millions of people, all in pursuit of what they BELIEVE to be true?

I quit.
Wait. Maybe I dont
I dont know anymore.

In every lecture, I raise my hand, poised as the fool
And ask the professor, in my most innocent tone
"What, then, do we do?"

And I tell you what. No one knows. If they did, they would be doing it.
So I came here to see about it. To see if I might be able to understand.
..To help

But its not as simple as I dreamed it to be.
It seems now, to me, impossible.
Impossible? A word I thought id never use.

War
Peace
Hunger
Death
Fear
Disease
Hatred
Bitterness
Fire
Terror
Alarm

These are words that have littered our paths for months. They are inescapable.
And now, they barely phase me.
Scary.

Most days I look into the eyes of those around me.
Those who, like me, have come to the heart for the sweel
In hopes of changing the tide.
And while ambition surrounds us, I wonder if we are really capable

{We aren't}
No matter how smart
How passionate
Or how charismatic was are... was arent strong enough for this.
Not on our own merit, at least.

So like a child, desperate, frightened and confused
I turn to the Father
And I ask...What now shall we do>

{He speaks}
You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.
{1John4:4}

It's ok...I'm not supposed to have all the answers
But I must act, I cannot be still.

And so I ask again, What shall I do?
He responds with...simplicity and clarity
3 words. That is all

{Pray}
and never stop praying
{Love}
and never stop loving
{Believe}
and never lose heart

Ill move mountains
Ill calm the sea
Ill speak things into being

that is all
that is all
For love, which conquers all, is the only force strong enough to pull us out.
And prayer, as quiet or as secret as it may be, holds power beyond knowledge.
And faith, the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen, is the means by which we are able to carry on... it keeps us alive.

So hold on my children
Be strong my friends
We are in deep.
But everything is not lost.

x

Purim

It's amazing how clearly God speaks...if you are listening.

Sometimes I think that he choses to be silent, so that I will draw near.

Other times, He speaks so audibly that it startles me, and I look around the room, wondering if anyone else heard.

For those that aren't familiar with Judaism...this month, there is celebration that takes place called Purim. It is interesting how well this celebration and the story of Purim fits into the words that God spoke so clearly to me this week... i shall elaborate

.::::Purim (Hebrew: Prm "Lots", from Akkadian puru) is a joyous Jewish holiday that commemorates the deliverance of Persian Jews from the plot of the evil Haman to exterminate them, as recorded in the biblical Book of Esther. It is characterized by public recitation of the Book of Esther, giving mutual gifts of food and drink, giving charity to the poor, and a celebratory meal (Esther 9:22); other customs include drinking alcohol, wearing of masks and costumes, and public celebration.::::::

My story begins last week. Wednesday. 9pm. Row B, seat 13.

As soon as I leave the ground and ascend into the atmosphere, I hear more clearly.

For almost a month now, I have been battling my fears of inadequacy and doubting the validity and probability of my own dreams and desires. I mean, lets face it...I want a lot of things in life. I have grand aspiration, so grand that I'm almost embarassed to talk about them for fear of being laughed at. Most of what I want in life seems near impossible. i want to teach and write and travel. i want a platform and exposure. I want to be able to give millions to feed the poor, to build orphanages, patron artist whom I believe in, and aid in the fight against child prostitution. I want to write award winning books, have an art collection ranging from Pollock to Picasso to Vermir, and own a home in each of my favorite cities around the world. I want my book to be made into a beautiful film. I want to marry a man, an artist, a creator, who dreams like I do, and who believes in something bigger than himself. I want to love him and him love me, until the day we die. I want to be a mum; be apart of raising up children who have poteinal beyond what I could have ever imagined and who just love Jesus...I want to see the Kingdom of God come to earth...

Even as I write all of this, I can't help but laugh under my breath...at myself. It does seem excessive. Impossible. Flighty, even. And this is when God speaks to me.

In 13B I hear him.

"Esther" he says.

Ok. A one word answer. God can be so simple sometimes.

So I turn to Esther...and as I flip through the pages, immersed in her story, I begin to understand what He means. She was an ordinary jewish girl, in a village. She was beautiful...but that isn't what made her great. She was courageous and obedient. She was chosen as a wife of the King, and because she had favor...she was offered the world. "Whatever you want is yours". She was literally given a Kingdom...and at the risk of losing it all, stood up against injustice for her people. The Jews. She not only recieved what she wanted (freedom for her people)...but was given more than she could have imagined. And as I read her story, the words spoken to her by Mordacai ring through my ears....

"You were born for such a time as this..."

I've always been taught that nothing is impossible with God. But how much do I really believe that? Do I really believe that God can use me to create a wave in history?

I suppose I believe to an extent...but I wouldn't mind being suprised.

I write this not only to encourage myself...but also in hopes that you will be awakened to the reality of Life and how big God is. I literally feel as if my mind is being stretched in every direction, and every time I think "this is all there is"...God pulls me a little more and goes, "HA, look at this! Look at how BIG I am. Betcha never thought THIS could happen."

And I laugh. Not at myself, but more in amazement. And I think..."yea God, I get it. I believe you."

So it has become my mantra. And, If I chose to obey and be courageous...to stand for what I believe and to carry myself with dignity, grace and character...there is nothing that I cannot do.

{I really was born for such a time as this}

Kiss&Tell

“My love story with John began with a bang…it was literally love at first sight. We might have initially thought it was trouble at first sight, but soon realized we had each found the one person God had selected just for us. I always believed that there was one right person for each of us, and although that theory was tested during my years of dating, John proved me right in the first moment we met. I had questioned those who claimed to “just know” when you find that one person, but the moment I locked eyes with the man I’d been hoping really did exist, my heart filled with understanding. It was an understanding that only comes from experiencing it for myself. Our first kiss was both a bond and a promise. Without having to express it in words, we both had gained that kind of unspoken understanding that told us this was forever. Kissing John has only become more exciting as time has passed because I know that our love is unending, unwavering, and will never be lost. And while there is great assurance and peace that accompanies those feelings, there is also a growing excitement….because kissing him, just like loving him, keeps getting better and better. ”
-Kielle
These two are crazy in love. ... I just loved what she wrote about him... This is part of her email (used with permission) Happy friday!

To find you and love you for all that you are.
That's the reason I was sent to Earth.

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give
is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid”
(John 14:27, NLT).

.M.

You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man, And lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy, Humble but you're greedy
And based on your body language, And shoddy cursive I've been reading
Your style is quite selective, Though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
That this is just what happiness is

Well it kind of hurts
when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
Becuase here we are
here
we
are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they're quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these words
I'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Through timeless words, and priceless pictures
We'll fly like birds, out of this earth
And times they turn, and hearts disfigure
But that's no concern when we're wounded together
And we tore our dresses, and stained our shirts
But it'll be nice one day, and the wait will be worth it.

So yesterday I made the decision that my bedroom needed a spring clean.. I wanted to organise out my draws and just do a general clean. In efforts to get myself motivated, I threw everything from my draws and everything hanging in my closet out onto my bed... and let me tell you, I never realised that I had so many clothes. There was stuff everywhere and as I leaned back on my wall from the only spot of carpet I could find, I found myself very overwhelmed.

I decided to procrastinate. Procrastinate by washing my car. Keep in mind that this was the first time I had washed my car myself, other than those times I simply pressed a nice little button, drove forward and flipped through Marie-Claire!! But I did it, and it was fun!

Life is good (clean & organised)
Its true what they say, it's not what you have in life, but who you have!

x

In the whole wide world


These girls will be many things as they grow; a neice and a cousin, a friend or a foe. A grandchild, a daughter, a mother, a wife. God has chosen their parents to guide them thru life.

And when childhood has finished may He bring along, kind and wise husbands with characters strong. Who'll always stand by their side as they both take a peep; loving their child who is scarcely asleep.

Life will shape them and mold them, time is playing a part. May God always hold them and keep them with kind and gentle hearts.


These little people light up my world. The highlight of my week is seeing them and their mum!
-plus, theyre not bad to take pictures of!!
X

You make the path of life known to me. Complete joy is in your presence.
Pleasures are by your side forever.

Psalm 16:11

white picket fence included

Someday I am going to fall in love with a man, marry him and live here.

And they lived happily.... forever.