1. Nothing says “I love you” like thoughtful, unsolicited little gifts on days that aren’t “special”–anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas, Valentine’s Day.
2. Our job is just as stressful/serious/significant as yours.
3. There is no such thing as too many shoes. Ditto to the perfect little black dress.
4. One lie spoils a thousand truths. Once discovered, it will be stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
5. Sometimes the earth doesn’t move. And no, you’re not going to be able to tell when it doesn’t.
6. A great haircut can give us a new lease on life. A bad one is not to be trivialized, minimized or joked about.
7. We are going to be upset with you and yes we are going to expect you to know exactly what we are thinking.
8. Women will always compare themselves to other women; ex-girlfriends, your female friends and especially your mother.
9. Some of us prefer boxing to yoga. None of us actually likes Pilate’s.
10. We go to the bathroom together because we are talking about you. Simple as that.
11. Call us back right away. That ‘three day’ crap does not apply. We’re getting older and we don’t have time to screw around. Wait too long and we’ll lose interest. Trust me on this one.
12. We’d much rather try on bras than see them on surgically altered, airbrushed supermodels, but we know how much you enjoy the lingerie catalog. Consider it a gift.
13. When we ask you what outfit we should wear- humor us with an answer. However, expect us to go with the one you didn’t choose.
14. Supersecret: Unless we’re blind or have no night-light in the bathroom, the whole toilet-seat thing is exaggerated and meant to control you.
15. Men who wear sunglasses at night don’t look cool, rich or sexy. They look as though they should be following a dog or holding a cane.
16. We like flowers, we like jewelery, we like diamonds… big diamonds and to this day, I cannot figure out why!
17. And last but not least, we can tell a lot about a man from the shoes that he wears… choose carefully!