Archive | March, 2009


It’s amazing how clearly God speaks…if you are listening.

Sometimes I think that he choses to be silent, so that I will draw near.

Other times, He speaks so audibly that it startles me, and I look around the room, wondering if anyone else heard.

For those that aren’t familiar with Judaism…this month, there is celebration that takes place called Purim. It is interesting how well this celebration and the story of Purim fits into the words that God spoke so clearly to me this week… i shall elaborate

.::::Purim (Hebrew: Prm “Lots”, from Akkadian puru) is a joyous Jewish holiday that commemorates the deliverance of Persian Jews from the plot of the evil Haman to exterminate them, as recorded in the biblical Book of Esther. It is characterized by public recitation of the Book of Esther, giving mutual gifts of food and drink, giving charity to the poor, and a celebratory meal (Esther 9:22); other customs include drinking alcohol, wearing of masks and costumes, and public celebration.::::::

My story begins last week. Wednesday. 9pm. Row B, seat 13.

As soon as I leave the ground and ascend into the atmosphere, I hear more clearly.

For almost a month now, I have been battling my fears of inadequacy and doubting the validity and probability of my own dreams and desires. I mean, lets face it…I want a lot of things in life. I have grand aspiration, so grand that I’m almost embarassed to talk about them for fear of being laughed at. Most of what I want in life seems near impossible. i want to teach and write and travel. i want a platform and exposure. I want to be able to give millions to feed the poor, to build orphanages, patron artist whom I believe in, and aid in the fight against child prostitution. I want to write award winning books, have an art collection ranging from Pollock to Picasso to Vermir, and own a home in each of my favorite cities around the world. I want my book to be made into a beautiful film. I want to marry a man, an artist, a creator, who dreams like I do, and who believes in something bigger than himself. I want to love him and him love me, until the day we die. I want to be a mum; be apart of raising up children who have poteinal beyond what I could have ever imagined and who just love Jesus…I want to see the Kingdom of God come to earth…

Even as I write all of this, I can’t help but laugh under my breath…at myself. It does seem excessive. Impossible. Flighty, even. And this is when God speaks to me.

In 13B I hear him.

“Esther” he says.

Ok. A one word answer. God can be so simple sometimes.

So I turn to Esther…and as I flip through the pages, immersed in her story, I begin to understand what He means. She was an ordinary jewish girl, in a village. She was beautiful…but that isn’t what made her great. She was courageous and obedient. She was chosen as a wife of the King, and because she had favor…she was offered the world. “Whatever you want is yours”. She was literally given a Kingdom…and at the risk of losing it all, stood up against injustice for her people. The Jews. She not only recieved what she wanted (freedom for her people)…but was given more than she could have imagined. And as I read her story, the words spoken to her by Mordacai ring through my ears….

“You were born for such a time as this…”

I’ve always been taught that nothing is impossible with God. But how much do I really believe that? Do I really believe that God can use me to create a wave in history?

I suppose I believe to an extent…but I wouldn’t mind being suprised.

I write this not only to encourage myself…but also in hopes that you will be awakened to the reality of Life and how big God is. I literally feel as if my mind is being stretched in every direction, and every time I think “this is all there is”…God pulls me a little more and goes, “HA, look at this! Look at how BIG I am. Betcha never thought THIS could happen.”

And I laugh. Not at myself, but more in amazement. And I think…”yea God, I get it. I believe you.”

So it has become my mantra. And, If I chose to obey and be courageous…to stand for what I believe and to carry myself with dignity, grace and character…there is nothing that I cannot do.

{I really was born for such a time as this}


“My love story with John began with a bang…it was literally love at first sight. We might have initially thought it was trouble at first sight, but soon realized we had each found the one person God had selected just for us. I always believed that there was one right person for each of us, and although that theory was tested during my years of dating, John proved me right in the first moment we met. I had questioned those who claimed to “just know” when you find that one person, but the moment I locked eyes with the man I’d been hoping really did exist, my heart filled with understanding. It was an understanding that only comes from experiencing it for myself. Our first kiss was both a bond and a promise. Without having to express it in words, we both had gained that kind of unspoken understanding that told us this was forever. Kissing John has only become more exciting as time has passed because I know that our love is unending, unwavering, and will never be lost. And while there is great assurance and peace that accompanies those feelings, there is also a growing excitement….because kissing him, just like loving him, keeps getting better and better. ”
These two are crazy in love. … I just loved what she wrote about him… This is part of her email (used with permission) Happy friday!


You’ve got the best of both worlds
You’re the kind of girl who can take down a man, And lift him back up again
You are strong but you’re needy, Humble but you’re greedy
And based on your body language, And shoddy cursive I’ve been reading
Your style is quite selective, Though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
That this is just what happiness is

Well it kind of hurts
when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don’t mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
Becuase here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they’re quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There’s no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these words
I’m paraphrasing this relationship we’re staging

And what a beautiful mess this is
It’s like picking up trash in dresses

Through timeless words, and priceless pictures
We’ll fly like birds, out of this earth
And times they turn, and hearts disfigure
But that’s no concern when we’re wounded together
And we tore our dresses, and stained our shirts
But it’ll be nice one day, and the wait will be worth it.


So yesterday I made the decision that my bedroom needed a spring clean.. I wanted to organise out my draws and just do a general clean. In efforts to get myself motivated, I threw everything from my draws and everything hanging in my closet out onto my bed… and let me tell you, I never realised that I had so many clothes. There was stuff everywhere and as I leaned back on my wall from the only spot of carpet I could find, I found myself very overwhelmed.

I decided to procrastinate. Procrastinate by washing my car. Keep in mind that this was the first time I had washed my car myself, other than those times I simply pressed a nice little button, drove forward and flipped through Marie-Claire!! But I did it, and it was fun!

Life is good (clean & organised)
Its true what they say, it’s not what you have in life, but who you have!



In the whole wide world

These girls will be many things as they grow; a neice and a cousin, a friend or a foe. A grandchild, a daughter, a mother, a wife. God has chosen their parents to guide them thru life.

And when childhood has finished may He bring along, kind and wise husbands with characters strong. Who’ll always stand by their side as they both take a peep; loving their child who is scarcely asleep.

Life will shape them and mold them, time is playing a part. May God always hold them and keep them with kind and gentle hearts.

These little people light up my world. The highlight of my week is seeing them and their mum!
-plus, theyre not bad to take pictures of!!