I have officially been married two weeks, boy that goes quickly. Marrying Josh felt like such a natural progression that come our wedding day, I was 15 minutes early and eager to get the show on the road. From December 4th 2011, I have been positive that this man was the one for me. When I stood up at that alter and pledged my life to Josh, I meant it with my whole heart and it was a beautiful day.
It has now been two weeks since the white dress, rose petals and slow movin’ music. There are many things that people dont tell you until you’ve signed on the dotted line. Women. Before the wedding they are cheerleaders. Making you feel like an old maid for not being married yet. They point out all the fun you are missing. Yet not one of them tells you just how challenging the first year of marriage can be, until you are waist deep in it. Of course, I wouldn’t have listened, because we all think that we invented a new kind of love, that is so musical and magical that it couldn’t possibly be anything other than happily ever after—every single day.
But I would have appreciated it if someone had just said, that the first year is the thing you have to go through to get to the happily married part. My first two weeks have been very emotional, personally. Josh and I are having a blast, I am still on cloud nine, but what I didnt expect is the internal battle that I would face. The pressure and the ‘expectations’ that I had built up in my head, the ones that told me I ‘should’ be doing this or I ‘should’ be doing that. The extreme change of leaving my family and moving to a strange city. The fear that I dont have what it takes to keep a relationship going for my eternity. It’s a scary concept, having someone’s future in your hands. I am the first to admit that I have spent a lot of these two weeks crying, feeling an overwhelming sense of homesick as I forge a life with the man I love.
So I guess the point of this blog is to communicate to you that the frog who turned into a prince farts, a lot. Cinderella’s glass slipper gives her blisters, and she sometimes gets really cranky when she doesn’t eat. ‘Should’ is a word that needs to be banned in all kingdoms. That even though the princess has gone from one castle to another in a different land, she still gets homesick. That marriage is exactly what I thought it would be, and so much more. Even though it was scary and awful and there were lots of red eyes and wolf breath and big teeth, this girl and the boy managed to go on to live their version of happily ever after—and it’s good.