Archive | October, 2010
Aside


BEN
: Do you wanna walk?
FELICITY: No.
BEN: Oh.
FELICITY: The truth is, I can’t be with you like this. I mean, I know I said that I could, but I can’t. I can’t just compromise myself like that. I mean, I’m an emotional person. I feel things, and I need to be able to get upset and talk about how I’m feeling. I mean, that’s just, that’s who I am, and I can’t change it. I don’t want to. And the thing is, you knew that. You knew it, and you still pursued me. Because you want something with me. You just aren’t strong enough to have it. Which… in a way, makes you a coward. And the saddest part is that one day, you’re gonna wake up and you’re gonna realize what you missed and it’ gonna be too late.
BEN: I don’t know what to say.
FELICITY: I know, it’s okay. [gives him a kiss on the cheek & walks away]

Aside

Love.

Now, I know that Ive never been engaged, married or divorced. However, I would like to imagine myself at the first two stops one day… so why not try and prepare my emotions and gain some knowledge on the subject now… Before the train ride begins. Below is a list of 28 little nuggets of gold which I have complied from talking and observing married friends. I think a huge part of them are useful in our relationships, romantic or otherwise. Enjoy!

  1. Whatever annoyed you before you got married is going to annoy you even more when you actually are married. If you can live with whatever brand of crazy you’re up against, you’re golden, because whatever it is probably won’t change dramatically.
  2. That said, never underestimate the power of lavish praise when it comes to behavior modification.
  3. However you decide to slice up the dough, consider keeping a bank account under your own name for discretionary spending.
  4. Talk to a financial advisor so you understand what your goals are and can work toward them together.
  5. Listening does not mean waiting patiently to hear the sonorous tones of your own voice.
  6. Use the nice china. It’s not going with you.
  7. Accept that you will both be attracted to other people during the course of your marriage.
  8. Unexpected tokens of affection are always appreciated.
  9. Have adventures together. Travel is an amazing opportunity to bond.
  10. Food is love. Even if you don’t know how to cook, learn how to make one thing well. Then serve it up when your partner is having a really, really crappy day.
  11. S/he who cooks does not do dishes.
  12. Going to bed mad is perfectly fine, but it’s much easier when you have a spare bedroom.
  13. Tread lightly with the in-laws. Be kind when establishing boundaries.
  14. Make an effort to stay healthy – mentally and physically.
  15. Cute underwear. Cute underwear. Cute underwear.
  16. Always have something on the calendar to look forward to together – a trip, a concert, a dinner reservation, whatever.
  17. If you want it, if you hate it, if it makes you crazy, speak up. No one likes a martyr.
  18. Repeat after me: MY BELOVED AND I ARE NOT ONE. Maintain your own social life outside of your marriage.
  19. If you must talk smack about your partner with friends and family, do it judiciously and be mindful of the picture you’re painting.
  20. Learn what words send you and your partner into a blind rage and eliminate them from your collective vocabulary. (“Hypersensitive”, anyone?)
  21. Stop counting. Tit for tat never ends well.
  22. Volunteer together or contribute a percentage of your income to a cause you both care about.
  23. Encourage creative pursuits and the occasional cockamamie scheme.
  24. There is no shame in couples therapy.
  25. Serve as a quiet and steadfast sounding board when it’s unclear how to be supportive.